Jokes & Funny Pics

[darren pun]

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let me start first

[wantime]

Cool idea bro.....

[fudge2k85]

Hmmm... How about this? It's quite old but very memorable... lol...

[loyn]

turn me on ........

[darren pun]

this one fits yr bill

hmmm... How About This? It's Quite Old But Very Memorable... Lol...

This One Fits Yr Bill

[darren pun]

Smart Boy

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem ?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too !'
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the Principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the Principal what the situation was. The Principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal : 'What is 3 x 3 ?'
Harry : '9.'

Principal : 'What is 6 x 6 ?'
Harry : '36.'

And so it went on with every question the Principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The Principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

[darren pun]

Smart Boy

Ms. Brooks says to the Principal,' Let me ask him some questions.'
The Principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of ?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have ?'
The Principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied : 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks : 'What does a dog do that a man steps into ?'

Harry : 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks : What starts with a C , ends with a T , is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid ?'

Harry : ' Coconut.'

The Principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

[darren pun]

Smart Boy

Ms. Brooks :' What goes in hard and pink, then comes out soft and sticky ?'

The Principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks : 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs ?'

Harry : 'Shake hands.'

The Principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks : 'What word starts with an 'F ' and ends in ' K ' that means a lot of heat and excitement ?'
Harry : 'Firetruck.'

The Principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,' Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

[darren pun]

Do Not Paint Yr Fuselage With Comouflage Colours

......:s:s:s

[viper1990]

Allow me to share. Some jokes between men and women

[122]

Another One To Laugh At For The Morning

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.

"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," he said.

The clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" the customer asked.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

[darren pun]

Changing Job

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed and lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the foopath. and stopped centimeters from a shop window...For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, " Look mate, Don't ever do that again, You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, " I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. The driver replied " Sorry,It isn't really your fault. today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral caR for the last 25 years
__________________

[122]

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final
Plateau.

If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 Milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.

It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:

A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer.

And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline.

All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.

The woman hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well ...blonde.

She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. Considering that her friend was a blonde, which would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could Not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two minutes later, Regis said, "That answer is absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
"How did you happen to know the right answer?"



Wait for it,,,,













"Oh, come on," said the blonde.. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests.

They live in clocks!

[122]

Windows 8

NEW!

MS Windows 8.0

[122]

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Hiaz!